Let me start by saying I have wonderfully creative ideas and am a fabulous writer…. In my head.  You see, a lot of things happen in my mind, but never see the light of day.  Why, you ask?  Because I am a mom.  Because, as other moms know, there isn’t enough space in a mom’s brain to remember to put extra diapers in the backpack, start the crock pot, send in the check for school pictures AND put coherent thoughts together to form anything more than a simple sentence.

In an effort to break this vicious cycle and give my writing a chance, I decided to audit my daily writing opportunities.  Here is what I came up with….

In the shower:  I come up with a minimum of 45 blog subject ideas, all remarkably well-written (at least in my head) and full of witty quips and fascinating insight.  I step out ready to jot down each of these amazing ideas…. Then promptly forget them as my foot hits the towel, in no small part because a tiny human is waiting outside the shower door to show me their newest art work…. On my wall.  

While I pee:  Back me up here, moms…. There are days that the only 27 seconds of FREEDOM that you experience are when you are peeing.  OBVIOUSLY the door is open, children are running in and out, you hear screaming from all directions.  I didn’t say it was peaceful, but due to the mere fact that you’re not getting anything ready for anyone else, well, lets soak it in as “freedom.”  In those simple seconds of freedom, I am able to let my brain scan into the crevices of my adult self.  There, I am able to see flashes of genius and optimistic attempts at putting words together.  Yes, they are wiped away before I flush, but the memories exist.

Yes, the shower and the toilet are the only two locations in which I am afforded a moment of think time throughout the day.  The rest is shuttling kids, cleaning up messes, participating in my job (or at least I try!), cooking, cleaning, ending civil outbreaks in the home, cleaning and cleaning.  This brings me to my next opportunity…..

The Coffee shop:  Here it is!  My TIME to write.  No kids, tranquil setting, surrounded by working adults, coffee in hand.  This has been SCHEDULED and PLANNED AROUND and BABYSITTER HIRED and ummmmmm… (Insert Jeopardy theme song).   Now all I can think about is what my kids are doing and did I forget to close the garage door?  Crap, I need to pick up ingredients for the appetizer I’m responsible for bringing to play date this weekend AND I forgot to mail the damn Kindergarten form in!!!!

So close.  Bummer 🙁